Hi, I'm new here. APOLOGIES for the very long winded post but I'm hoping it might explain my Cockatiel's recent behaviour. I've had my grey and white boy cockatiel for almost 3 years, he turned 3 this month. (I named him 'Wally' after my grandfather, don't ask me what he thinks of his name!!). I 'fell' into cockatiel ownership when a friend's tenants split up and left a female cockateil in a curtain drawn room for weeks with just food and water and warmth. I enquired re' her welfare and did they want me to find her a new home and they gave me permission with thanks to take her as they know I love all animals and try to do my level best for their welfare whenever possible. NOW the problem is this: Once the female had settled for a few months and stopped moulting I felt sad that she was on her own so got her a mate, (Wally) (I was told 'she' was a female but turned out to be a male). The female very sadly had a freak accident while coming out of her cage one morning, she hopped on her 'coming out branch', went to fly and just plumetted to the floor, fatally injuring her neck. I took her to my vet (not an avian specialist) to see of there was ANYTHING that could be done for her, but vet reckoned either a parasite, ( always kept them clean) or a stroke. I made her comfy in a donut bed and offered her food and water, that was all I could do, but she passed quietly away after 3 days. I feel awful about this as I had taught her to fly over time and she loved it, had never flown before, but she always seemed a little lop sided. I don't know her actual age but the previous owners had her for 6 years.

NOW my little man Wally has recently started being extreeemely noisy and he has attacked me and bitten me on my face and ears and dive bombed me with force, for why I don't know!! He started when I left him all day on his own for 12 hours while visiting my elderly parents (who I will have to be spending more time with on future visits). He is a bit better recently, and back to his usual loving self, nuzzling in to my cheeks on my shoulder. But I'm not convinced I can give him all that he needs?? I used to take him out 3 times p/day whenever I could and we used to snuggle down and watch tv together most eves, but I'm out of the house a lot, the radio is on for him, but he still cries like a baby  when he hears me pick up the car keys or senses I'm going out and cries for attention, sometimes desperately flapping round his cage when I come home to get my attention! He comes out now only 4/5 times a week for a fly around the room but then won't go back to his cage when I have to go out, (and you just can't get a cockatiel to do anything it doesn't want to, wasted energy for the both of us  I've found out!). He is in a cage, not indoor aviary in the corner of the lounge which I think is cruel, I 've never believed a bird should be in a cage...Would he be better 1) With a companion, male or female (he's quite a Romeo I warn you, serenading and prancing round the ladies and I don't want babies!)? 2) In an indoor aviary type cage which would be larger than the rectangular thing he's in now? 3) OR give him to someone who is more likely to give him more time and whose lifestyle is more consistent with his, ie a retired couple. I live on my own and he starts singing when people visit, he loves company. He sings sometimes to me as well and loves watching the tv at the other end of the room..but..with all this shrieking and crying, I just worry that he's not happy (my elderly cats politely ask him to be quiet at times, then end up having to exit the room.. as I do!) Oh, what to do for the best by him, or is he approaching teenage years and am I overworrying?? I'm new to all this, please any advice or help would be greatly absorbed and acted on where possible! I have always tried to give him fresh veg, and rice and egg and am aware of the dangers of sunflower seed, but he'll only eat chickweed, green  beans, dandelion or rocket out of my hand in the mornings, he just shreds it in the cage.

P.S: My sister reckons the reason he cries is because I've been spoilng him(!) by spending too much time with him in the past and he now expects me to be there all the time.  

Update: He came out this morning and bit me again

 Do you have a better picture of him at all? I am presuming it is him in the avatar, but at a quick glance I think that's a female.  Only because in the whitefaces, males have whitefaces and females have grey faces.

Thanks everyone, I think it's frustration biting perhaps??

I am told he's a male, yes, he's grey with a white face and sings The Adams Family, Jingle Bells, Ave Maria, and Born Free, does the phone ringing, and wolf whistles as well as jibber jabbers, and 'laughs'. yes, he's very sociable, even talks to my cats as they go in and out of the catflap. Loves any attention, I took this pic of him about a year ago while he was nicking my oats!

He was raised in an aviary, his dad was persistently attacking him before I took him on he was just a very young aviary bird and never been handled. He'd spend all day on my shoulder if he could but I'm not at home much these days. My elderly parents live a 3 and a half hour drive away, I think the stress of the ride would kill him?! I have to make it a one day trip because one of my cats is on daily meds and so I drive home late pms/v.early ams. I can't take him to the swimming baths with me, to my neighbours when I use the internet, on my jobs, or on my bike or hiking. I know what he needs, and I know what I have to do, the question I have to ask is can I be consistent cos that's what animals need, to know where they are, so I will try with the little dude, I will try a little longer and a lot harder..and see how we go. I try and make sure he gets a good 10 hours of sleep a night, he doesn't do dark mornings and is all sleepy, bless. I have ordered a better diet for him on the advice of a posting on the Forums, the 'tidymix' diet, saves me taking most of the sunflower seeds out of the present one he's on and gives him more fruit and veg to play with and hopefulyl eat too. I will post an up to date photo of him, he looks a little scraggy in this one.

Thanks again for all constructive crticism, please don't be afraid to dish it out, I can take it! I'm new to 'tiels.. and they're new to me, so most of this is still a learning curve.

You'd be surprised about the travel. I take my conure with me on trips from East London to Somerset - which takes anywhere between 3 hours to 6 on an awful day. Indie natters away at passing cars, plays with his toys, has a snooze and (in the summer) likes to be in the way of the breeze coming through the front window. Yes some do get a little stressed but really in a way travel is important for that one day you need to get him to the vets asap or need to take him somewhere else for whatever reason.

I get what you're all saying, but I took him to the vet once and the only way I could get a hold of him was to pile pillows (safe) in his cage so that they were so high up and he was trapped at the top of the cage and this was the only way I could get a hold of him. He's not a bird who lkes hands. He was huffing and puffing and flailing around and screaming so much it's not something that I think would be good to repeat? Then he was really stressed out at the vets. I hear you can give a little bird a heart attack too easily if they're stressed for too long. Yes, I do let him out in the mornings before his breki and try and tempt him back in with a Grape Nut or two and the words 'Wally want a biscuit?' He gets excited at the crinkley packet, then I reward him with a couple through the bars as he climbs back into his cage and eats this first, along with the rest of his breki, sometimes treats work, sometimes he just wants them 1st!

No, I've not rotated his toys recently, I took a lot of the mirrored toys out recently so he just sings to one cos I thought maybe he was 'protecting' all these 'ladies' from me, also took out his hammock bed which he never used as I thought it might be making him uneccessarily broody! He has a a load of toys in his cage and some cardboard he likes to shred and a wheel I put milllet pieces in for him to play with but you're right, I must start rotating his toys again.

So, assuming I DID find a way of getting him into another cage for a car ride, what do these travelling cages look like? And how would I tempt him into one? It would be ideal if I could get him used to one, he could come out on my pushbike with me on warm days along the shore, great!

Bear with me while I try and upload some pics I took of Wally this a.m, not done this before so..

http://s1199.photobucket.com/albums/aa474/MrPutney08/

I think it's difficult to advise you but maybe a nearby ACO to pop around and experience it for themselves. Some birds just don't like fingers, so lots of people stick train them with step up and rewarding. If your bird likes to snuggle up with you then he is hardly far from help. It takes time and commitment to get a bird either comfortable with hands or sticks. My bird was aviary bred and made me cry on more than one occasion at his nipping and stand-off ish behaviour. It took a long time to get him stepping up on a stick and then to my finger and he's here cuddled up under my chin right now and will do as he's told (sometimes when he's not a grump) when I ask him to step up. The tiel my mother has goes livid at hands; we bypass the nips and she eventually steps up and sticks her neck out with a "Right, now scratch for the next hour". She squeals her head off when you stop. The key is having the time and being committed. Approaching him now and again and trying it when he's settled won't work. You need to dedicate a time to have a go with him - just 10 minutes a day, from a stand 'step up' with a treat just beyond reach unless he gets up on the stick. When he gets tired and nippy with that, let it go for a while then return to it. But you can't do it once a week. You need to be consistent and return to it time and time again. He is intelligant; he will learn. It has to be every single day; no excuses.

I have to say the pillow scenario sounds like a nightmare. Even if I struggled putting my chirper away isolating him with a pillow would have frightened him senseless and it must have been a very frightening experience. Birds are very receptive creatures; they make associations with bad experiences and negative things happening to them. It is up to us to break those ideas in their heads because it is very likely we put them there in the first place. It is likely your bird thinks "Last time I was in that cage, she put that thing in with me and I felt trapped and frightened; I won't let her do that again". My bird took a long time to forgive me when he was ill not long ago and I had to hold him in a towel and put 3 lots of medicine down his throat. He'd figure out my body language, avoid me, drop far down my back so I wouldn't see him and it was heartbreaking. It took a long time to build trust again and he associates towels with negative things.

Time is a huge issue. My bird gets 5/6 hours out a night. He is alone all day long. He has a very large cage with roughly 12 toys in there of all different sizes ready to preen, rip, swing and chip all day long. These are rotated frequently and changed with different ones. But I know (and often feel guilty) for the fact that really during the day he is waiting for me to come home and he can come out and torment me, dive bomb my partner a few times for good measure and try and sneak his way under the duvet instead of getting in his cage at the end of the night. He is out every day and I wouldn't have it any other way and it shouldn't be any other way. People that come to my house come with the knowledge that either I will won't spend the evening with them because I'll have him out upstairs, or that he is going to be flitting around doing his thing.

When you take a bird on, and any animal for that matter; their well being is your responsibility. Go out and get books (I have one of the 'for dummies' series on birds), get one out of a library, look at the training vids of youtube. There is a mountain of resources, including very experienced individuals like Ann Conway who are happy to offer advice and there are volunteers willing to come and meet you and your bird to help you out! No one knows the key to every bird - that's not the point. But the fundamentals to having a happy relationship with your bird, even if they hate your guts and can't stand you, is a healthy diet, tons of stimulation (I read that a bird cage should have AT LEAST 12 toys in it!) and should be big enough to accommodate those toys plus room to flit about and time out to 'be a bird'...even if they don't love you.

Wow..I went on. Apologies if you feel like I'm being at all negative but you're really not alone - many people have experienced birds like this and they are a big part of peoples lives. Many of us move our lives around our birds because we have taken on that responsibility and we have to honour our side of domestic bird keeping. I've travelled up to 6 hours to get home by car so my Indie doesn't spend a day alone. It would take me 2 hours on the train. I'm sure there are many ways I could spend my spare time that would be deemed more fun or constructive but I have this bird, now I have to put aside my desires for his needs. And adequate time out DAILY is a need; it is not a maybe/sometimes/somedays/when I have a moment.

You can get him stepping up on to something, you've just got to dedicate that time daily to achieve that goal and your relationship will change. It takes seconds to do damage mentally to a bird (i.e. create a negative experience for them). It can take YEARS to undo that damage.

Thankyou Stace, very helpful and informative post, wow..and everyone, so much support, THANKYOU.

This little guy has me torn like no other..I so much want him to accept my love; in some respects he seems wild and untameable, in others he gives me hope for a future together. I feel I have tried everything with him but I know that I haven't even started to understand 'Wally's world' yet.. I have several books on cockatiels, some with conflicting info, hmm. But nothing counts for experience. Re internet info I go to my neighbours to go on the web so could easily spend all evening on youtube, not good for the little ones left at home, (the cats need their nightly grooming session and love in too!).

Having said that Wally and I have had a very good day today, his dive bombing sessions have not resulted in taking a chunk of my ear off, he seems to stop and think abit about things before the situation escalates and I don't react with an 'Ow!' (and sometimes with everything he makes me have to go of the room to cry too Stace), I just ignore it, hard to do but I don't want him to see anymore that he's hurting me. He's bin 'glued' to my shoulder while I've been doing paperwork early eve and very loving which I've reciprocated with soft words and gentle head tickles, so, we CAN get on. I'm getting some help on this forum with a private messg. Still please keep posting so I can learn from others and share our experiences with each other.

Helen, thanks for the post,  the 1st thing Wally does when he hops out of the cage is to hop straight on my shoulder and if I call him he'll land on my outstretched forearm, but avoids hands like the plague! Having said that he lets me tickle his head, only so far as he likes tho, he'll give me a gentle nip if he thinks I'm going too far and I go back to how we were. He used to join Amelie on her stick and they used to hang out together on it wherever I took it so with patience I reckon I could get him to NOT keep jumping over the stick and onto my shoulder whenever he comes out, but he's happy on my shoulder before deciding to do a few circuits of the room, so I feel priviliged that he does that!

Yes, Sheila, I have found that Wally was very influenced by Amelie, my previous bird, who was such a sweetie, he would copy her with ease and follow her everywhere, and getting a friend is not something that I would take on lightly. Wally received his new Tidymix diet today when I got home, tucked in straight away much to my suprise, bless him!